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"He also started doing some unusual things," said his mother, Nataliejean Ahrens. "He would stand with his face right next to the T.V. screen watching the credits. And he would line up his toys instead of playing with them."
Nataliejean - a nurse - and her husband, Patrick - a doctor - knew something was wrong.
Mark had several ear infections, and his parents thought maybe a hearing loss was impacting his language and behavior. Tubes didn't help.
Mark's pediatrician downplayed the changes.
"He said, (the concern) is just because you're a doctor and nurse. Don't worry about it."
They still did. And decided to change pediatricians.
The new doctor referred Mark to a neurologist, who diagnosed him. AUTISM/From Page 1A
Autism.
While it was scary in the beginning, the Ahrenses were relieved to know what was causing Mark's behavior.
"We felt a certain amount of relief," she said. "We felt like we weren't crazy, that we were right that something was going on. And it armed us with knowledge.
"I didn't know much about it," Ahrens said. "I had a vague understanding of it from nursing school. My husband and I wanted to know what it was. Some parents don't. But we were eager to have answers."
Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and is the result of a neurological disorder that affects normal brain functioning, according to Brandi Krakowski, a Loess Hills Area Education Agency 13 school psychologist and member of its Autism Resource Team. It impacts communication and normal interaction, she said.
Krakowski said autism is a spectrum disorder.
"It affects everyone a little differently," she said. "Some are severely affected and others function fairly well."
Ahrens remembers Mark going into the kitchen as a youngster.
"I assumed he was hungry or thirsty, but he couldn't tell me what he wanted," she said. "I opened all the cupboards and refrigerator wanting him to point to what he wanted."
She said Mark ended up sobbing, flailing his arms and legs as he lay on the kitchen floor.
When he was three, his sister, Kristen, was born. It did not go well at first.
Ahrens said Mark would fall to the floor and cry every time his baby sister cried.
"That was a very difficult time for us," she said.
Today, Mark and Kristen get along well.
"They don't banter back and forth, but they play with each other. He is very good with her," Ahrens said.
Mark is now 12 and in the sixth grade at Lewis Central Middle School. He attends five regular classes each day, accompanied by an instructor who modifies the curriculum for him. He spends two periods each day in a special education classroom learning new materials.
In addition to his classroom instruction, the Ahrens also hired a speech therapist to work with Mark.
"He can speak in sentences and can tell you what he wants," Ahrens said. "He says, 'Can I have a cracker please?' and will tell us goodnight. Mark will never be chatty, but he can get his needs met."
Ahrens said Mark likes to be around other children, but doesn't do much talking. Limited social interaction is part of the disease. But, she is impressed with how his classmates treat her son.
When he was younger, Ahrens would come speak to Mark's class about his condition at the beginning of the year.
"I told them what autism is and that it is not catching. I explained how Mark might act and told them how they could help," she said. "The kids have been fabulous to him; very caring."
Ahrens said several of Mark's classmates' parents have told her how their children have benefited from knowing her son.
She said Mark still lines items up and gets very frustrated if he can't find an item or everything isn't in order. Routines are very important.
He also has a very limited diet. He likes crispy and crunchy foods and won't eat vegetables, fruit or milk. McDonald's is a favorite.
"That's part of the disease (having very specific narrow interests/insistence on sameness) he's hung onto," Ahrens said.
Another is a sensory issue.
People with autism often react strongly to sensory stimulation. Some are bothered by a toilet flushing, others a bright light.
"Mark can't stand to get his clothes wet," his mother said. "If he gets two drops of water on his shirt, he takes it off, even if he doesn't have another shirt to put on. I tell him he's become the fastest stripper in town."
Ahrens said she has to remove the tags on the inside of her son's clothing, as he can feel them pressing on his body.
But he likes to be touched. Touch bothers some people with autism.
Krakowski said they want and need affection, but how it is given and received may be different.
"That can be very frustrating for parents," she said. "They don't have the comfort in their own skin that we do."
Ahrens said she feels fortunate Mark shows recognition when he sees a family member. Some with autism do not.
"It can be heartbreaking when your child's face doesn't light up when you enter the room," she said.
She said it's important that families with an autistic child not make autism the center of the family's life.
"We found that it is important that we do things as a family," Ahrens said.
They take Kristen and Mark to dinner and movies. Since Mark may not eat much restaurant food, they will stop at McDonalds for him.
"We had to teach the behaviors we expected," Ahrens said. "He had to learn that he had to be patient while waiting for food at a restaurant. You have to set the expectations. I always told him, just because you're autistic, you don't get to," she pauses - "hit your sister, throw a tantrum - fill in the blank."
She said as a parent, you have to teach and not avoid.
"Some parents won't take their child anywhere because they don't want to provoke bad behavior," Ahrens said. "Sometimes it is really hard, but you have to practice so that you are not stuck in place with the child running your life."
Ahrens said living in the land of autism has its challenges, but she wouldn't trade her Mark for a Mark without the disease.
"I would want some things to be easier for him. But, he is my child and I love him."
Monday: Autism professionals speak and we meet a teen with autism who is competing in a national speech contest.
