Linda Labelle, director of the Salisbury, Md., organization, Focus, a clearinghouse for abuse information, said an author coined the term soul murder to describe what happens to child sexual abuse victims.
"It is exactly what happens," she said. Labelle has counseled numerous children and adults who have suffered sexual abuse's damaging effects. So has Wendy Richter, executive director of Family Support Network, an Atlantic-based organization that assists crime victims.
Both women say, while Dyess' burning down the family home and killing her brother and sister is extreme, sexual abuse always seriously affects its victims' emotions and behavior.
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"Control is taken away from them so they try to get control in some other area," she said. Richter said some victims may become overachievers but that is rare. "It's a smaller percentage because that is hard work."
Labelle said she saw Dyess' plea agreement hearing on CNN. She said while setting a fire that resulted in innocent victims' deaths is atypical, attempting to kill the perpetrator is not that unusual.
"You see several women who have killed or attempted to kill an abusive spouse."
While unable to comment specifically on what may have led Dyess to torch her house last March, Labelle said extreme behavior might indicate an antisocial personality disorder. She said an apparent lack of emotion could mean a personality that developed without the ability to experience empathy or compassion.
"They don't care what happens."
Or it may be the victim has been taught to suppress such feelings.
"She was obviously full of rage. No one was listening." Labelle said it is possible Dyess was attempting to save her sister and brother from abuse, that she thought they were better off dead. "We just don't know."
Labelle said Dyess might have believed she had nowhere to turn. She points to circumstances prior to the fire. Dyess' mother indicates she was unaware of any abuse and the children were not enrolled in a school where they could have possibly talked with a teacher or counselor. The family also was continually moving, attempting to escape the law due to bad check writing and fraud. No one in Griswold really knew the family. And Dyess had reported sexual abuse from another of her mother's husbands, but charges against him were later dropped.
"Did she think it was pointless to tell anyone? Was she threatened if she did?" Labelle wondered.
Richter said several factors determine how seriously child sexual abuse damages a person, including how often the abuse occurs, how long it has gone on, how many perpetrators are involved, the victim's relationship to the abuser and the child's support system.
"A person who is raped once by a stranger will suffer, but the effects are more serious if the person is repeatedly raped by a man or men brought into the family home."
Richter said when a person is abused even once, seeing the perpetrator again triggers strong emotion. "(But) when it is a caretaker they see day after day, it keeps chipping away at their self esteem and they become nothing."
Labelle said child sexual abuse is reported between 300,000 to 400,000 times a year, but the number of unreported instances is probably far greater, because the children are afraid to tell anyone what happened, and the legal procedure for validating an episode is difficult.
Richter said she's seen many cases where a victim tells of the abuse, only to back down when charges are filed against the perpetrator.
"They see people getting in trouble," she said. "The family members may flee or the victim clams up, causing the charges to be dropped." Richter said it is no different than any crime victim. "They might get threats from the family. The child may be told they will be taken away. They want the abuse to stop, but don't want to leave mom and dad."
Labelle said no child is psychologically prepared to cope with repeated sexual stimulation. Even a 2- or 3-year-old, who cannot know the sexual activity is "wrong," will develop problems resulting from the inability to cope with the over-stimulation and emotional deceit.
"The child of 5 or older who knows and cares for the abuser, becomes trapped between affection and loyalty for the person, and the sense that the sexual activities are terribly wrong. If the child tries to break away from the sexual relationship, the abuser may threaten the child with violence or loss of love."
Richter said it is not unusual for family members to ignore abuse.
"They don't want to know it's happening or don't want to admit it," she said. "It is very difficult to face." Richter said she's heard several mothers say they had a feeling something was going on but didn't want to believe it.
"If you don't ask the question, you won't get the answer."
Labelle said sexual abuse and denial go hand-in-hand.
"Families choose to ignore it or justify it. If someone came to you and said your brother or sister was sexually abusing someone, how would you react? Most people would find it hard to believe."
While Labelle empathizes with what Dyess may have endured, she said the 18-year-old must be responsible for her actions. Was the 45-year sentence with a chance of parole after 17-and-a-half years too harsh?
"When it comes right down to it, she did do this. She is a victim, but she could have made other choices. Hopefully she will get treatment and not just be locked up in the system."
As for the potential for successful treatment, Labelle said in Dyess' situation it is too soon to know.
"There is always hope," she said. "It depends on her resiliency and desire to get help." Labelle points to some victims of serious abuse who have kept a sense of compassion and knowing right from wrong. "They have gone on to help other victims."
Richter said family members should be aware of the red flags that could signal abuse. In younger children those could include bed-wetting, sexual aggression or an inappropriate knowledge about sex given the child's age.
"I want to stress that bed-wetting does not always indicate abuse," she said. "That can be some other problem, but it is also one of the warning signs of possible abuse."
She said it is important for parents to educate children about good touch/bad touch and who and under what circumstances genital touch is acceptable. Richter said parents should ask questions if they suspect something.
Labelle said society does a poor job of protecting its children. She notes several researchers who relate increasing abuse of children by other children to Internet pornography.
"It's all about the money," Labelle said. "Money is more important than our kids."
Parents, or children, with concerns or questions can call Family Support Network at (800) 696-5123 or Catholic Charities at (800) 612-0266.
Among the findings of a study titled "The Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the U.S., Canada and Mexico":
Annually, 325,000 children are reported as being sexually exploited in the United States. Of that figure, 121,911 ran away from home and 51,602 were thrown out of their homes by a parent or guardian.
Child abuse is the least frequently reported form of abuse.
Family members - fathers, stepfathers, uncles and older siblings - commit 47 percent of all reported sexual assaults against children in their own homes.
Persons known either by the child or the child's family - teachers, coaches, physicians, ministers, priests, neighbors and youth leaders - commit 49 percent of all sexual assaults against children.
Four percent of sexual assaults against children are by strangers (persons unknown to either the child or the child's family).
Twenty-five percent of exploiters of children are other children.
Seventy-five percent of children who are victims of commercial sexual exploitation are from middle-class backgrounds.
Forty percent of the girls who engaged in prostitution were sexually abused at home, as were 30 percent of the boys.
