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Let there be light
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| One More Time - Comment and observation By: Joe Lee, III |
September 01, 2009 |
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I have always considered myself a decent handyman around the house -- lazy, but handy. I built my shop, wired it, built a few useless what-nots, etc.
After my last project, I am considering turning in my DIY card.
The Beauregard Critter was over at the house and, of course, saw a couch that needed a good jump and somersault. The couch survived, but the lamp on the other side had abrupt communion with the floor.
The lamp looked OK, but it would not light. The BOH immediately assigned me to the job. I tried three light bulbs to no avail, so I took it out to my shop. I couldn't find anything wrong, but decided it had to be the combination three-way socket and switch, so I replaced it.
Still no light.
Gimme the pliers
The wire looked fine, so the only thing left was the plug. Off it came. Still no light. I "hot-wired" the thing directly to the socket. Still no light.
By this time I was getting a lot frustrated and a little suspicious so I went in the house and got a bulb that was burning in another lamp.
Bingo! I had torn up the lamp because three bulbs from the "new supply" cabinet were, as they say at the auto dealership, "pre-owned." A pre-owned auto is OK, but a few hundred hours on a light bulb is not so good.
The story, sadly, was not over. The only plug I could find was some Chinese deal that required you to pry it apart, attach the wires, and shove it back together. I went through the procedure a half dozen times, but could never get the prongs the same length.
Gimme the wire cutters
I then bought an extension cord and cut the female end off.
The big ceramic lamp had a threaded shaft running through it. I had to take the shaft out to put the new wire in it. No problem.
No problem except that unknown to me, the lamp had broken in several pieces when it hit the floor.
As soon as I unscrewed the shaft, the whole thing fell apart.
(I should go to Sunday School next Sunday.)
Gimme the Super Glue
Finally, after a new socket, a new plug, a new extension cord, and a whole tube of Super Glue the project was complete.
Next time I'll make sure my light bulb works before I resort to major surgery.
Al Gore will be happy, I put one of those newfangled fluorescent bulbs in it.
The Boss of the House is worried about what would happen with stuff inside the bulb if the Critter breaks it during his next acrobatic display. She read somewhere that it is toxic.
I don't know about the mysterious powders inside the bulb, but I suspect that lamp has survived its last crash.
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©The Democrat 2010
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