But some single dads do their jobs and operate as mothers, too.
Tim Martin is the owner of Textures Salon on West Stephenson Avenue in Harrison. He’s been a hair stylist for almost 20 years and has been in Harrison since 1993.
But for the past six years, Martin, 37, has had custody of his nine-year-old son, Trevor.
Although Trevor does spend every other weekend with his mom in Fayetteville, Tim and his son are a team and do everything together.
A typical day, if there is one, begins with breakfast and Tim dropping Trevor off at Forest Heights Elementary. Then Tim goes back home to get ready to open the shop at 9 a.m.
After school, Trevor goes to his Dad’s downtown shop.
There’s a little while to decompress from school, but soon it’s time to get busy on homework, unless it’s reading, which has to be done at home where Trevor can read to Tim.
Then, it’s free time, which could often include Trevor talking to clients while Tim cuts or styles their hair.
“His whole life,” Tim said, “he’s been in the salon with me.”
Usually they’ll get away from the shop by about 6 p.m. If they’re lucky, they’ll get a chance to have dinner before evening activities. But during soccer season there’s either a game or practice two or three nights a week.
“And I’ve been his soccer coach for three years,” Tim said. He’s also been the league director, or commissioner, for the eight and under boys league.
So, it’s usually dinner after soccer before going to bed and starting all over again.
Trevor’s also been involved with acting workshops at the Lyric Theatre — he’ll be in a play during Crawdad Days festivities.
And Trevor has been on the Goblins swim team for a couple of years, but he’s decided to take this summer off.
“We’re going to hang out at the lake,” Tim said, after explaining that he’s in the process of buying a boat.
Tim said he doesn’t have the luxury of grandparents to send Trevor to for a while. He did say that if he has some pressing work matter he will try to arrange a babysitter, but not often.
“If Trevor can’t go, then we don’t go,” he said.
One of Tim’s 300 or so clients comes in for a quick trim and style. As he works, they talk and the conversation will eventually turn to Trevor. Tim explains how school is going and what’s the newest thing in their lives.
“He’s a really good dad,” the client says with a smile.
Tim explains that he keeps their house clean, but not so much that it takes time away from Trevor. He said the boy came to ask him a question, but said “never mid” when he saw Tim was cleaning.
Tim said he asked what Trevor wanted. He said he wanted Tim to go outside and jump on the trampoline with him. Tim said he realized then that cleaning could wait.
“It’s not a priority anymore,” he said. “I’m not going to waste my time with that.”
“I have a very positive attitude,” he continued. “I learned that a long time ago.”
He says he has a lot to be thankful for and feels blessed.
“It could be a lot, lot worse,” he said.
He also feels fortunate when he hears single mothers say they have to go home from work to their second job of taking care of the family. He feels like a man with “zero jobs” because the salon is “my passion” and he can’t feel like home life is work.
“And I have really good friends,” he said, the kind that don’t hold it against you when you get busy and don’t have time for visiting for weeks or even months. “Sometimes life gets a hold of you.”
“He takes care of me,” Trevor said, munching on an after-school bag of popcorn, although he says his favorite thing to do is play games with his dad.
Trevor said he’d like to be an artist when he grows up. Or at least that’s what it is this week. Tim says last week it was a NASCAR driver.
So, what’s the hardest part of being a single father?
“I don’t know that there really is a hardest part,” Tim said. But he leans back in the barber chair and thinks before coming to the answer: doing dishes.
“That’s it right there,” he says with a laugh.
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Tim Martin gives a client a trim while his nine-year-old son, Trevor, joins in the conversation.
