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No, instead we are going to focus on a much more civilized fan base who instead of shouting at me and screeching like a bunch of long-tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs, made their voting prowess their loudest voice.
That would be the Sarah McLachlan fan club.
In what was an inconceivable result in Round 3 of our contest, McLachlan defeated Bruce Springsteen.
But it wasn't just a win. Sarah won in a landslide.
Once all 1,420 votes were counted, (my eyes still aren't dilated), Sarah picked up a whopping 82 percent of the vote. That's not a type-o. It's actually 82 percent. Exactly 1,160 votes. Remarkable.
And while in my humble opinion, this is something that should have never happened, because no matter how strong a singer/songwriter McLachlan is, there's no way her concerts are anywhere near as entertaining as the Boss, I still have to applaud her fans for making sure she moved into the quarterfinals in the proper way.
There was no hub-bub that I didn't declare her the greatest entertainer the world has ever laid eyes on. There was no backlash that I predicted a win by Springsteen. There were just votes. Hundreds of them. More than for anyone save the prohibitive favorite U2.
And while I never expected Sarah McLachlan to even reach the quarterfinals, she now has to be considered a real favorite to win it all. To her fans, I say Bravo.
Now to the Grobanites. (The more I hear that name the more it sounds like termites, which in a lot of ways isn't a bad analogy. Maybe I can use termites as a simile this week.)
First, let me state, that Josh Groban easily defeated Santana and will advance to the quarterfinals. Again, not shocking, even if it's painfully obvious that Carlos has more talent in his pinkie finger than Groban could ever muster.
But, I digress.
Here are the final results from round three, and the matchups for round four (See accompanying box and vote.)
Results from Round 3
Final scores from round three are in percentages: U2 def. Maroon 5 (86-14)... Groban defeated Santana (69-31)... Elton John defeated Bob Dylan (80-20)... Sting beat The Eagles (50.2-49.8)... McLachlan defeated Springsteen (82-18)... Alison Krauss and Union Station topped George Strait (62-38)... Elvis Costello beat Lynyrd Skynyrd (52-48)... Dave Matthews Band won over 3 Doors Down (71-29).
Vote for Final 4
JOHN REGION
1. U2 vs. 2. Josh Groban - This craziness has got to stop. Right Here.
RINGO REGION
1. Elton John vs. 6. Sting - Sting upset the Eagles by a mere three votes. That means he has no shot of toppling Elton.
PAUL REGION
4. Sarah McLachlan vs. 7. Alison Krauss and Union Station - I never expected either one to have a shot at the Final Four, but one of them will be there, a testament to both acts.
GEORGE REGION
3. Dave Matthews Band vs. 16. Elvis Costello - I'm a closet Elvis Costello nut, and even I thought he had no shot to get this far. Still, despite the surprise, there's no way he knocks off Dave.
Cast your votes now at asanfilippo@delcotimes.com.
Grobanites offer glimpse into a zany world
What I want to do this week is to give you all a glimpse into my e-mail. Just to give you an idea of what these Groban kooks are really like. Here is a mere sampling of the e-mails I received, when I received them, and the first thought to cross my mind afterwards. Enjoy.
1. Last Friday 8:03 a.m. - "You are an idiooooooooot." - Kathy Cauley. (Mmmm. Donuts!)
2. 10:56 a.m. - Debra Sasse sends a letter to my publisher calling my column from last week "defamatory" and asks him to "curtail any further irresponsible journalism" on my part. (Note to self. Stop calling people groupies. It's offensive to groupies.)
3. 12:33 p.m. - The first vote for Josh Groban is cast, this following a slew of early votes for Santana. (I'm surprised it took this long. Maybe it's because they were still sleeping after a late-night binge of good online Josh chatter.)
4. 1:59 p.m. - Aly None writes, "We aren't just a bunch of lemmings ... We're the fans who have raised thousands ... on our own for the Josh Groban Foundations. We're the fans that knit beanies and quilt blankets for newborns. We're the fans that are constantly brainstorming ideas for how to raise more money for the tsunami relief and an orphanage Josh's foundation supports in Africa. Show me a lemming that can do all that. (Earth to Aly, you're not the only people raising money for charity, and Josh isn't the only artist doing it, either. But, it's nice to think of yourselves so highly.)
5. 2:39 p.m. - Julie Lane of Hamilton, Ontario, writes to apologize for the Groban fans. "I must admit that I wholeheartedly agree with your feelings about the lemming-like quality of ballot stuffers and have always felt that voting more than once was wrong and invalidates the whole purpose of the contest. I personally would not care to win a contest under these circumstances. I'd feel a bit like an "American Idol" winner. Oops, did I type that out loud?" (Do I really have to go all the way to Canada to find another rational thinker? Sheesh. Thanks Julie.)
6. 4:08 p.m. - The first vote for Josh Groban without voting for anyone else on the ballot comes in. From a repeat offender no less. (Some people will never learn to follow the rules.)
7. 4:15 p.m. - Kristi Roe asks a hypothetical question that I'll answer anyway. "If you enjoy fishing, wouldn't you go as much as you could? Same thing with Josh Groban concerts." (Somehow, I see the correlation. Going to a Josh Groban concert is about as exciting as going fishing.
Thanks for the insight!)
8. 8:22 p.m. - Perhaps my favorite e-mail of the week. From an anonymous e-mailer. Here it is in its entirety: "Young Jedi, the Universe has presented you with an opportunity to learn the elusive skill of how to handle the masses. And yet, Young Jedi, you continue to use the wrong defense. Use the Force. How can they prevail over you, if they don't exist? By heralding their presence and power, they will continue to assault. God help you, you're in over your head now, you cannot win this one. Take what the Universe has given you and learn that no one individual will ever prevail by ticking off desperate housewives en masse."
(Interesting thing, Yoda, most of the people complaining to/about me are housewives. You are a sage, my friend. Thanks for the Santana vote.)
9. 8:23 p.m. - Apologies to Susan Schuldman if she gets exiled from Grobania for this e-mail she sent me, but I have to print it: "I'm a Josh Groban fan (and) I agree with much of your article. I'm not putting myself down (but) I don't follow him around like the other fans do. I've read a lot of the messages on the fan club sites and some of them are pretty scary. These people stick together and some of them have seen him A LOT of times. I mean, don't they have jobs? I better stop, I don't want to (tick) off my fellow 'Grobanites.'" (Sue, any trouble from any of these loons and you tell them to talk to me. As the old Italian men in my neighborhood used to say, "You're good people.")
10. 8:44 a.m. - "I woke up this morning to a 'Google alert' with your simile/lemming article and fell off my chair laughing! Thanks for the a.m. giggle! I sincerely enjoyed it. Your writing style and tongue-in-cheek approach is a riot. I am a huge Josh fan! I fit under the category of 'seeing-him-every-chance-I-get-with-no-intention-of-sleeping-with-him.' I guess that is 'Groupie-without-sexual-intent.'" - Lisa Forestell. (Can I end this whole thing right here? Finally, someone who knows exactly where I'm coming from with all of this. Nothing I say with a good amount of sarcasm should ever be taken that seriously. And for those people who do take it to heart, guess what? Then it probably describes you to a tee. Sorry I held up the mirror for you to see that.)
There were many more e-mails that I wanted to list, including a woman who ripped Delaware County. Actually, I'll squeeze that one in for you too, just so you get a true sense of these Grobanites.
This comes from Pati Davis - "I am a 59 year old woman, and I don't have pigtails. I do however know really good music when I hear it, and a really bad reporter when I see it.
You are rude and crude, and don't know diddley about anything but jealousy. I however know you. I know where you work, and what area you live in, and thus I expect nothing more than you are giving from someone who works in such a low-class area. How would I ever expect you to know class when all you see is Folcroft and Glenolden.
Get out of that world and visit Tanglewood this summer. See how the other half lives. It would do you good, and maybe some class and culture will rub off on the likes of you. You are a laughing stock in Grobania. We get a real laugh, at your expense. You are pathetic."
Yeah folks, let's keep making this Groban guy win so we can have more responses like this.
